It is common that people stand up in front of the church to give testimony. My family’s church is apostolic faith Mission and this is a common phenomenon where testimony is used to express the gratitude or ask for prayers. The church member that wants to testify usually stands in front of the congregation and tells the good or bad story. This is another form of storytelling as was done in olden days around the fire. This is the part that has been neglected by our society. We have depended so much on media to tell our stories. I
I am now feeling compelled by my spirit to finally put my experience in writing. Don’t ask me why but I believe all happens in God’s time and his pace. It has been a very long journey for me through life with mixed feelings. When I tell my story of where I come from I feel like I’m 70 years old. It has been a wonderful journey and am happy I have made the best decisions in life with lots of guidance and advice. I have listened, prayed, fasted, rebelled, fought, persisted, worked extremely hard, pushed myself to the limit but most of all I have had a massive faith in God and Jesus Christ as my Lord and saviour.
My successes have not been easy, I know deep down inside (and this scares me a lot) it has not been my wisdom, knowledge but has been truly God choosing me entirely. It is too shocking, too miraculous; too big what God has done is doing and will do in my life. Those who knows me well or have followed my achievements should now know that I don’t deserve the credit but only God does. To all those who truly dislike/hate me for what I have achieved and for God’s blessings remember it is not by my might and power, it’s truly Gods miracle, I take no credit for it, don’t shoot the messenger, hate God. Also the main culprit in this is this wonderful and prayerful mother of mine now supported by this God chosen son of mine, I tell you the prayers of these two people bit all the muthi’s from any Sangoma, brakes every curse, opens all closed doors, Oh God IS GREAT AND MIGHTY. IF HE IS FOR US WHO CAN BE AGAINST US REALLY….. can it be poverty, illiteracy, pain, illness, cancer, HIV/AIDS, , massive operations, child loss, death in the family, loneliness, hardship, temptations, peoples hatred and vendetta, crime in our country, unfair distribution of resources, unfair dismissals, divorce, backsliding or any hardship you are faced with. All I know is nothing can separate me from the love of the lord and the bible agrees with me on that, so I believe it no matter what.
When I look back where God has taken me from back kwaNyuswa my wonderful village, my humble beginnings at Silindele primary school, kwaNyuswa secondary and Siyajabula high school comparing with where he has temporarily placed me and looking at all the miracles( I use miracles where my mind fails to understand the occurrence of events beyond my control)that has taken place in my life, It is like I was rescued from a burning house that consumed everyone around and left me to come back and rebuild what was destroyed. This is where the love of the rural community comes from, this is where the drive to carry one comes from, this is where my ideas stems from, this is where the courage, hard work, persistence, kindness, fighting spirit and sacrifice comes from, my beginnings. Yes some people may say I am also from poverty but I am not like you. God says he has uniquely made us for his different purpose in this earth. I suggest you stop looking at what other people have done in their lives and start focusing on Gods purpose for your life. Go back to where you come from, love your beginnings, embrace it with all its faults and errors, those were just minor detours that made you see and appreciate the value of your journey. Look at the good from all the bad that surrounds you. Remember nothing comes easy, all is hard work, long prayers, many tears have to be shared, rejection. But he is there at all times.
God sent John the Baptist to tell about the light so that everyone might believe because of his testimony (John 1:6).In the above verses (4 and 5) this light that John was testifying about is clearly defined and if he chose to keep quite.
There is a song that says “Akusavumi mangithule” I believe this was John’s moment, this was the time for him and it was the time for his light(testimony) to shine in the darkness of those that God had commanded him to tell about the light to. When God’s time is here, it is here and you cannot do anything about it. When God send you and do not listen, he will make the circumstances around you force you to do as he commands.
I have noticed at times when I am organising the cancer awareness’s (the most difficult task especially because our NGO is not sponsored and severely misunderstood, undermined and doubted) People always get shocked by the success at the end of the event, how people misunderstand a person with a vision to deliver, how due to lack of the understanding or misinterpretation of the importance, objectives of what you want to do, how much misconceptions exists about the community work, how scary is the obstruction of such great work, how your character has to adapt to all the different characters, how much begging is involved and yet the community you are providing for has no clue what you go through daily. They don’t know that your child has not eaten because you did not cook for weeks because of the passion that drives you to deliver the service. They have no idea of the pain you feel with each woman you find in the community with cervical or breast cancer but telling you it’s a neighbours spell and refusing treatment. My aim is to bring the light but it is not just that easy process to be the messenger especially the passionate one and committed. If it is your calling, there is no turning back. When it is done, the pace really doesn’t matter, years of patience and persistence is countless as long as at the end it is done.
This remind me of how tough medical school was, another miracle, the hardship I faced in medical school disqualified me before I could even start first year but passion, prayer, putting extra effort and persistence , not counting the years but focusing at your goal takes one far. I think our failure as the young generation of cell phones, Skype and email is that we cannot wait for the message in a letter to take 7 days in a post to reach to our loved ones and for the response to take another 7 days before we know how they are doing. We tend to want to make a call now and get a response now, if can’t get through or on voicemail we give up. I am mentioning this to emphasize the above point that passion without patience, hard work and persistence rarely yields the results.
One thing I have also come to learn is that, yes God can but he will not come from heaven to do it, he sends his angels and they usually don’t come in your expected Christmas cover package. When I look back the person who told medicine was easy to do as a career was my late ex-husband’s brother, Xolani, who was a student at University of KwaZulu Natal, brilliant but due to alcohol he did not get very far but he told me that studying medicine was like taking up lesson of a new language, he even said if you can read many novels, YES you can!! He said medicine has just a lot of work, with your discipline you can do it; I remember staring at him for a while and saying really! That idea of lots of novels was possible to imagine vision and work on. I was not encouraged to do medicine by my ex –husband who was a successful general practioner but his alcoholic brother. Most people who knew me back then use to say, it was easy for you because you husband was a doctor, actually God do not let it happen that easy, that’s his style. God wants you to squirm a little, so when it’s all done you will automatically say, Thank God!! I think I spoke to xolani first because I knew wayeyisidakwa and won’t even remember this crazy idea of me wanting to become a doctor the next day, so I thought my crazy, stupid idea was safe with him. The package of my advice to do medicine was not my LO teacher, my community role model, a mentor or any other doctor. Don’t hate them for not helping you, it’s not their doing, no they are not horrible people, no man it’s not that or because they that or they feel that about you, they are just not meant to help you right now, period. They may be looking down on you, they may be thinking the next person could be perfect than you or they may have not heard you say it but the point is, that person you think is going to help you, will not. God is going to send his own to deliver you just persist and don’t give up.
I had no money to go to the University, for obvious reasons (rural child, single parent a domestic worker) at that time I was married to a doctor but still could not have R6000 to register for medicine. I told the story of me being accepted to medical school but having no finances to a few of people but one woman responded, Mrs Ruth Khoza, the wife of Doctor Khoza, a well-known GP in Zululand, she gave me the registration fund ofR6000, this was the seed for my life, for my family food, for my mother’s house, for this NGO, for my academic freedom, for my respect. It came from the doctors wife who was an ex teacher. Here the God I serve go again. My help coming again from him. My lips were filled with worship, my heart with praise. U sis Ruth did not see a big deal about R6000 over the years but for me it was the foundation. No house can stand without the foundation.
There are different kinds of testimonies; I have come to hear since Sunday school, I have decided to write mine down for the following people and reasons.
1) For me – to remind myself that yes God can and he has done it time and time again. This testimony is a mirror of where I am going because of the depth of where I come from
2) For my family, my son and my friends- these are people who know the depth of different chapters of my life who may have forgotten the details of miracles that God has done in my life right in front of their eyes. This is my testimony to say if God can to me so he can to you, if he could then so he can now.
3) The rural, poor youth that has lost hope on success, academic achievement, yes he can, listen to my testimony and believe that you can with him because.
4) You the reader- to encourage you that no matter what goes on in your life, just know that he can and he will no matter what obstacles stand in your way, be it poverty, hunger, lack, need, divorce, illiteracy, HIV/AIDS, cancer and any challenge you may be faced with it will all work for good for God’s glory. When he does come through for you testify and give him the glory.